In my last post, only a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned how I had gotten off track.

Well, since then I’ve been working hard at being on track, producing a new work-book for a potential client, with the working title The “What do you want?” workbook. I had expected to meet with some people today to present a first draft (to friends, business people etc.).

An interesting thing has occurred. I’ve started to develop (yet again) a troubling eye condition known as Iritis, a potentially serious eye condition that can lead to permanent eye damage, or even blindness.

Now, being so smart, methinks, “hang on a minute, what’s going on here”. No immediate answer, other than “maybe I shouldn’t be working on the computer 16 hours a day ..

Last night, thinking I had better rest the eye, I decided to relax and go watch some television show (at least it didn’t require such focused attention, I thought).

Strange that the eye got progressively worse. Hmm, maybe I should just go to bed (it’s around 11.oo pm, still hours of potential work to be done), but maybe some rest is needed.

In bed, lights out, the fun begins. Not. From previous experience I’ve learned that one of the serious warning signs, besides the blurred vision, redness and sensitivity to light, is the ’sand in the eye’ grittiness that gets progressively worse, and more painful. A relative of mine once shared with me that the pain of severe Iritis is worse than childbirth. “Yeah, sure”, I replied. “I’ve had four children. I know what I’m talking about,” she replied. I’ve since accepted it’s up there as among the not-most fun things to experience.

Anyway, as I lay in bed, the pressure in the eye, the pain, the grittiness started to worry me. This condition can get serious, and while some steroidal drops can relieve the condition (which I don’t use), some still manage to go blind, even with all the drugs.

And that, I sense, was part of the problem. I had been allowing my illness to grow progressively worse, and worry only made it worse. I could feel the pressure in my eye, somewhat matching the pressure I had put myself under to produce this workbook. Some other circumstances (family) had also caused pressure and added to my condition. All in all, I was under a great deal of pressure.

Even though I was on track, I was placing myself under immense pressure.

Recognising my circumstances, I started to imagine my eye being relaxed, and well again. Now, this proved difficult. The simple fact is that in the midst of pain, it can be quite difficult to imagine a pain-free space. But, in having experience with the creative-wellness process, I knew enough not to expect an immediate,’snap my fingers’ response. I’ve learned enough to let go, and be confident that the pain will ease, and health will return.

This morning I woke, thinking perhaps to cancel all my appointments. That seemed to relieve the eye considerably.

I may still make those appointments, but in allowing myself to relax, and let go, things have improved greatly. Such is the art of life, and wellness, I believe.

Steaphen